Truthfully, I just feel like I am a coward. I don't know why and how but I feel that indeed I am. Although on the other hand, I also feel that being able to type now and even dare write a sentence with a complete thought, which may not necessarily mean anything or have sense, for me is fighting cowardice.
I am a college graduate with a degree that has supposedly taught me to write well, speak well and understand well. Yet, I am afraid to write. I have always thought that writing was my weakness and so the denial to put up my own blog though I've always wanted one.
I am a daughter of a salesman, a business man, a real estates person, a newspaper publisher, a lawyer and so many other things that somewhat relates to speaking with people, dealing with them and relating to them. Yet, I am in a somewhat surprising way not very good at. Though I've been told that I am a good speaker, I feel like not having the ability and the skill to actually deal with people. This I am not sure but I hopefully want to know soon.
I am a daughter of a sales lady, a business woman, a charity worker, a church volunteer, a community builder and a catholic organization leader and so many other things that diversely exudes the ability to charm people, persuade and lead them. Yet, I am not sure if I truly inherited those skills. I would love for those who know me, to tell me. After all, who wouldn't want an affirmation of the things they have in doubt of themselves?
How are all these related to anything about makeup? Simple. I love makeup and I think it is simple yet ironically and colorfully complicated. Or maybe I am just the one seeing things that way. I don't know, but all I know is that I have found this deep love for makeup over 3 years ago. It was sparked by finding one of the most inspiring persons I've known, through Youtube. It is through the internet, where I was not required to deal with any person but I could have the liberty to see and watch them in generally most times of the day and night.
Her name is Kandee Johnson. She may not know it but I would really like to send her my gratitude for being an inspiration. She has been a sunshine to my oftentimes emotional self-conceited world. I would not have been writing now if not for her inspiring and encouraging words.
Today, I write my first blog post. There is something in me that feels like butterflies roaming inside me. I feel giddy and up for being able to do this, finally. I want to fight all the things I feel weak to do or to even think about. This blog may be mostly about my love for makeup, but can surely also be my love-hate relationship with life. I am not sure if there will ever be anyone who gets to read this but I hope there is.
I am Aila, and this is Makeup and My World!